Peeping Suigetsu
by Frog-Wallet
Summary: Suigetsu knew he wasn't supposed to be sneaking into the girl's side of the onsen to annoy Karin, but boredom seemed to be ruling his head. Too bad he startled Sakura instead and almost got a Chidori to the head, courtesy of a fuming Sasuke. Crackfic.


**_A/N:_** This is a crack fic (a fic with humor or complete, utter nonsense). So, don't take anything in here seriously XD This is something to write off the writer's block :D NOTE: THIS ISN'T MY BEST WORK OF FANFICTION. I'm writing it for fun, that's all.

* * *

**Peeping Suigetsu**

"Just get in," an annoyed Sasuke coaxed a worried Suigetsu.

"Look, the water's like more than one hundred ten degrees!"

"Get in, Suigetsu."

Suigetsu growled at Sasuke, "What if I evaporate?! Look at the amount of fucking steam there is! You can't see the bottom of the water!"

"If you evaporate, Itachi and I shall be dancing with daisies."

Baring his teeth, the Shark nin grudgingly dipped his toes in the water and lowered himself in. He knew that stopping at an inn (conveniently with an onsen) for the night was a bad idea as his body's water temperature rose steadily to accommodate the outside liquid's boiling heat. Just looking at the steam rising up from the bath water made him queasy.

He could imagine his tombstone (if Sasuke dared to pay for one anyway, that cheapskate) in the middle of a lake inscribed with the letters that read, 'Hozuki Suigetsu; He may not be with us physically, but he's in the air.' What a joy that would be.

"It's not that bad," remarked Juugo, guiding some of the water to his dirty skin. Blood of the enemies flowed into the white depths of the boiling onsen water.

Suigetsu didn't even bother to retort. He knew that the two males sitting diagonally from him were as boring as old geezers; their feathers weren't ruffled as easily as Karin's. He found it ironic that despite the interesting _style_ of Sasuke's hair, he wasn't really responsive when someone tried to pull on it a bit.

It was too bad that Karin was on the other side of the wooden barrier which separated the bathing men from the relaxing women. If only he could pinpoint her direction and bother her in some way...

Upon seeing Suigetsu's intense gaze at the heavy strip of wood, Sasuke warned, "Don't dare."

"Hey, hey, I'm not a pervert like you are," Suigetsu said, waggling his finger at Sasuke as if he did something naughty.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't have an idea. I just thought I caught you red-handed, that's all."

"..." Sasuke didn't answer, getting up promptly to escape to the restroom. The last thing he wanted were fan girls clinging to both of his arms. Half of them had long, black hair tied in low ponytails... and well, he didn't want Itachi look-alikes anywhere near him. His mother always told him that striking girls was considered bad 'posture', even if they happened to look like someone he hated very much.

"I'm going to get my rubber duck," Juugo stated calmly, plodding after Sasuke and leaving Suigetsu alone.

The Mist missing-nin flashed his set of pointy teeth while looking at the small crack in the wood just beneath the water's surface. He held his breath and dove to the very bottom of the water to avoid being evaporated, morphing into water on the way. He made his way through the minor crack and into the danger zone.

'Damn, which one of these women is Karin?' Suigetsu thought in disdain, navigating his way through the enemy waters. Though he hated to admit it, Karin was pretty petite in terms of size (her attitude was something else).

He then spotted someone who seemed to have a body type matching the description and slowly neared her. The background music from 'Jaws' started to play as he started to close in on his target.

Unfortunately, Karin wasn't in the onsen. As soon as she felt Sasuke's chakra signature disappear into one of the bathrooms and Juugo's disappearing into his room, she decided to surprise the poor Uchiha...

* * *

"I love this onsen," Ino exclaimed to her best friend, Sakura.

Sakura merely nodded, tying her hair into a small ponytail atop her head. She wasn't the biggest fan of bathhouses like Ino, who dragged her here for her day off from hospital work, but she had to agree that it healed her aching muscles.

Suddenly, she felt something warmer than the water itself prod her side. She inched over to the right a couple of centimeters, feeling insecure. "Um... Ino? Did you feel something warm... touch you or anything?"

"Haha, Forehead. You're just being paranoid or something. It's just the water you see," Ino giggled.

"I don't know..."

A hand then shot out from the water, nearly grasping Sakura's face. The Godaime's apprentice reeled back and yipped in surprised, Ino joining her with a full-out scream soon after. A face emerged too, smirking in pleasure.

"Ha, Karin! Didn't you get scared?" Suigetsu shouted in happiness and joy upon hearing screams cut the water and air, only to mutter, "Oh shit."

He felt a chakra-infused punch meet his face as the entire onsen, including the male's side. "YOU PERVERT!" Sakura screeched at the stranger.

Suigetsu immediately transformed to his physical self and dashed into the inn for cover before the two Konoha kunoichi could register him in their minds.

* * *

"Sasuke, we need to get the hell out of here now," the Hawk member said, strapping his cleaving sword to his back. "A pink-haired woman with green eyes just destroyed the onsen with one punch!"

"Sakura?" Sasuke murmured in slight disbelief; she really had grown stronger over the years. He shook his arm in a futile attempt to shake Karin off of him. He didn't even make it to the bathroom and they had to go because Suigetsu happened to do something stupid? "You peeped at her."

Suigetsu stammered, "I-I thought she was Karin!"

Karin sputtered in her defense, "You thought that pink ugly bitch was me?!"

"Shut up!"

"Still, you peeped at her," Sasuke slowly worded the statement without losing his cool. For some reason, it got on his nerves.

"Well, she had a nice ass," the offender admitted, dodging a Chidori aimed for his head.

"You 'looked' at my past teammate..."

"Are you jealous or something? Jeez, if you want a compliment, you should've said so! You have a fine ass yourself!"

Suigetsu shrunk into a puddle of water and made a break for the door when a twitching Sasuke attempted to jab his Kusanagi into the Shinobi's stomach. The former Konoha ninja pursued the peeping tom.

"Wait for me, Sasuke-kun!" Karin pouted, trying to keep up with the angry game of cat and mouse.

_Meanwhile..._

Juugo didn't notice that his teammates had left him behind; he was too busy squeezing his rubber ducky with one hand. But when he decided to glance down the window, the only thing left of the onsen was the rapidly flooding water.

"Well, I guess it looks like we can't go swimming, Mr. Ducky."

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**_A/N:_** Well, who wants to tell me their opinions on this fic?


End file.
